Fern River Resort Motel
.5250 Highway 9
.Felton, California 95018 United States
Received from a
traveler
on
Tuesday, 16-Jan-07:
"Fern River Resort, Felton, CA - We arrived early, at around 12. Check-in was
at 3 but the room was ready so they gave us
the key which was a nice surprise. The
complex was very pretty, with several
redwoods growing in the area. We walked in
and were immediately impressed the wood
paneling was beautiful, the view of the river
and the redwoods out the back window was
amazing, and the kitchen had everything,
stove, oven, full sized refrigerator, coffee
maker, microwave, and toaster.
Within the first 30 minutes we were
disappointed. We tried to make coffee (with
the coffee we brought since we were warned by
earlier reviews that they didnt provide
coffee), when I got up to check on it I
noticed there was water and coffee grounds
all over the counter, under the microwave, in
the drawers, flowing onto the floor, etc the
coffee makers carafe wasnt made for the
coffee maker and the water wasnt going into
the carafe!! What a mess. We went to throw
out the coffee grounds and noticed that while
there was a garbage can there wasnt a trash
bag in it! Only a bit of newspaper in the
bottom! Talk about cheap!
Oh well, after a 30 minute clean up, it was
time to relax. That is when we discovered the
furniture was right out of the Flintstones.
The couch was a lovely piece, carefully
handcrafted from solid granite and padded
with a polyester cover that crinkled when you
sat on it. This thing was so hard that you
could break a bowling ball on it. Hmmm, a
quick scan of the remaining chairs revealed
that our options were very limited. The only
piece of furniture with any padding at all
was an orange chair that caused immediate
lower back pain due to the strange angle it
placed on your spine. Off to the bedroom in
hopes of a place to find some comfort. Oh no,
it too was as hard as stone, and just as
comfortable. A bead of sweat formed on my
forehead as I contemplated two nights trying
to relax while standing. Perhaps sleeping in
the car was an option, but the 28 degree
night temperatures made that option a rather
chilling thought.
If you want a nice, spacious cabin in the
Redwoods, with a decent kitchen, just pack up
your air beds, a few garbage bags, folding
chairs and this will be the place for you.
And dont forget to bring the earplugs,
because the walls are so thin that you can
carry on a conversation with you neighbors (
ours played guitar and sang late into the
night). For us, the romantic weekend ended a
day early when we politely handed the key
back and said we were leaving early. This was
quickly followed by the inn keeper
frantically searching for the words to say
'No Refunds, No Negotiations'. What a
terrible disappointment. Great concept,
extremely poor execution.
The parts we forgot to mention that were
equally annoying or insulting:
1.) The towels, and blankets had "FERN RIVER
RESORT" SPRAY PAINTED on them! scratchy and
tacky, nice.
2.) The towels were larger versions of the
cheap terry rags that you buy 50 for $20 at
CostCo.
3.) The pillows were so flat that even
doubled over you couldn't tell they were
there."
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